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about
Rainbow Baby is the second single off the new album by Jaws of Love., entitled Second Life, out Nov 11.
Throughout the course of a single year during quarantine, my wife and I experienced two pregnancy losses. One at 7 weeks, the other at 17. The latter was called an anomaly. This song is about what it felt like for us to first become pregnant, with all our soaring hopes, fears and dreams that came crashing down. We were crushed. Then to have it happen again from double the height… it’s a pain I’ve never experienced before. Not only pain from not being able to become a father, but from witnessing my partner grapple with something she has no control over, feeling betrayed by her own body. To have no control over your own body is something I will never fully understand and do not wish on anyone.
A rainbow baby refers to the baby someone eventually has after suffering pregnancy or infant loss. Through all this I can at least say time and community heals all wounds, as we are, for now, safely in the 24th week of our third pregnancy. We still don’t feel like we can completely celebrate or feel at ease, but we’re moving forward, through pain, through joy, knowing that’s all that can be done. This song is dedicated to all those who’ve lost babies, and to anyone who is still waiting for their rainbow baby. We’re waiting with you.
-Kelcey
Helpful resources if you're suffering through a loss:
the morning came as many have come
met in the middle of a six-week run
10 years divided but never apart
maybe a fire should finally come of the spark
a year had passed us with nothing changed
some plants had died in the neighborhood heat wave
it wasn’t odd for her to be late
but for some reason this didn’t feel the same
a little window, inside a cross
we couldn’t wait to tell everyone
yeah it was early but we didn’t care
who’s feeling heavy when you’re lighter than air?
pass the baton we carry
from who we were to who we will be
are we running or waiting?
I was an immediate nutritionist
we upped our proteins and antioxidants
soaked in magnesium, tried to relax
tried not to say names but we weren’t good at that
Chris mailed his book on what to expect
they were on their first and we were next
those first two weeks felt just like a dream
painting the future as if from memory
it was a Tuesday, store was on strike
came back to see the plants coming back to life
I found her kneeling, showed me some blood
wasn’t a lot but it must’ve been enough
the doctor said it was chromosomal
tears in the drive-through before we came home
they never tell you, she’ll blame herself
it’s powerlessness I’ve never felt myself
pass the baton we carry
from who we were to who we will be
we're waiting for our rainbow baby
waiting for our rainbow baby
we're waiting for our rainbow baby
credits
released October 14, 2022
Credits:
Jaws of Love. is Kelcey Ayer (of Local Natives)
Written by Kelcey Ayer
All music/vocals performed by Kelcey Ayer
Produced by Kelcey Ayer & Danny Reisch
Mixed by Danny Reisch
Mastered by Max Lorenzen
Engineered by Danny Reisch
Additional engineering by Kelcey Ayer & Max Lorenzen
I love the space in between everything he's doing, and how every sound is manicured to be as pure as possible. "Infrared" and "Beautiful People" are big highlights for me. Jaws of Love.
BJ Burton's production work on this was like a compass for Danny Reisch (co-producer) and I. The brutality and crushing of everything is so breathtaking. "Dancing and Blood" blows my mind every time. Jaws of Love.
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